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miabellaverita
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Name: Chelsea
Country: United States
Metro: Tucson
Birthday: 5/10/1986
Gender: Female
Interests: Christianity, Family, Friends, Singing, Dancing, Cooking, Talking, Listening, Theology, Coffee, College Basketball, Working Out, Taking Care of Myself, Making Friends, Shoes, Johnny Depp, Johnny Depp Movies, Russian Authors, Rachmaninof, Music - all sorts really, Sunsets, Being outdoors, School, and Sentimentality.
Occupation: Student
Industry: Nonprofit
Message: message meEmail: email me
AIM:  miabellaverita
Member Since:
2/12/2006
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| I just had a flash back to my sophomore year in high school (wow, forever ago!). I remembered a night that someone gave me the most fairytale like compliment ever. It sounds silly but it was something you hear in the movies and surprisingly I wasn't disgusted. I usually hate cute quips but this one made my life. Of course I don't really care for the one who said it but it was cute none the less...
"I was looking for this girl, you might have seen her. She's about yay-tall, eyes like windows to heaven and smile like the sunshine?"
Ok - so maybe it was ridiculous but cute, right?
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| Wine comes in at the mouth
And love comes in at the eyes
That's all we know for truth
Before we grow old and die
I lift my glass to my mouth
I look at you and I sigh
-Yeats
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| ... for wasting time. Or is it... no time isn't the best time to waste time. Either way - I'm not being productive right now. I can't think. Life is full of ghosts. I feel haunted and I can't figure out why. School is overwhelming - what else is new. I can't seem to focus on homework tonight yet I have so much to do I shouldn't look away for one second. I had an exam today - 1 of 2 for this week, turned in my paper, and am waiting for my second study guide to finish itself. All I can think about is going for a late run and taking a shower. I doubt the former will happen. The latter forever - might help me to drown the ghosts the flood my mind.
I need to do something creative - paint, write something for fun, read something just for fun, draw, find a piano that has my name on it and just go wild. It'd be nice.
Today was absolutely beautiful. I couldn't get over how wonderful it was to see God's creating waking up from such a snowy, cold sleep. When walking up to my exam this evening I couldn't help but think that it was impossible not to see God in nature. How can you not? Well - I think I've allowed myself too much time for nothing. I wish you all well...
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| Coldplay "Green Eyes" Honey you are a rock, upon which I stand,
and I come here to talk, I hope you understand.
The green eyes,
yeah the spotlight,
shines upon you,
and how could anybody, deny you.
I came here with a load,
and it feels so much lighter now I met you,
and honey you should know,
that I could never go on without you,
Green eyes.
Honey you are the sea, upon which i float,
and I came here to talk, I think you should know.
The green eyes,
your the one that I wanted to find,
and anyone who, tried to deny you,
must be out of their mind.
Because I came here with a load,
and it feels so much lighter since I met you.
Honey you should know,
that i could never go on without you,
Green eyes, green eyes.
Honey you are a rock, upon which i stand | | |
| ... or woman as my case would be. When I'm home I always seem to turn to Dostoevsky for shelter. He's the one great author who, because of his insanity, can make me feel a little more put together.
I can't even begin to express the mixture of emotions I feel right now. Work is my solitude - family is my pain. I've always wanted it to be fall the other way but no matter what I do I can't change who they are - I refuse to change who I am and thus - things stay the same. Now, I complain a lot - this is what I do... I don't like it.
Welcome to my world of perfects, of wishes - I want to be the perfect daughter, the perfect girl friend, the perfect Christian... in turn I am terrible at all three.
Potential - I can do a great many things and the last thing I want to become is someone I do not like. Selfishness sickens me and more and more I find myself becoming a calloused, cruel, mindless ball of self.... ego. I am Ayn Rand's brain child!!!
Basically what it comes down to is that I'm ready to be back at school, busy, with people I love and can talk to. I'm tired of being alone.
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